Many years ago, when I worked in advertising in Trinidad, a few co-workers and I piled into the station wagon I owned at the time, and headed out at our lunch break. At my suggestion, we picked flowers, the plan being to drive around delivering them to people at random. We picked a few of the purple flowers that I think are called Morning Glory. The memory that stays in my mind even after all those years, is that of an old man standing at a corner on Tragarete Road, wearing a brown suit and hat, and holding a small suitcase. After one of my friends hopped out to give him a flower and we drove off, I glanced into the rearview mirror and saw him staring at the flower, then opening his briefcase and gently slipping it inside.
Who knows what that simple, out of the blue gesture did for him. He may have been grieving, tired, lonely, or any number of other emotions which the flowery gesture had calmed, if not erased or transformed. Perhaps he had kept the flower so he could treasure it later, maybe even press it between the pages of a book, to preserve that fleeting moment of being considered and/or appreciated.
While we may never know what someone else is truly enduring, we can know with certainty that even the simplest kind gesture, word or compliment, especially when unexpected, can transform someone’s current moment, or even their life.
There was a time, years ago, when in a spare moment, I would call phone numbers randomly. I would greet the person, give my name and explain that this was a random call, to wish them a great day. One or two people would "schoooooops" and hang up; many were glad to receive the call. Sometimes we would have short, pleasant exchanges, sometimes longer conversations.
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Some who answered were admittedly sad, despairing or lonely and glad for the unexpected interaction. Perhaps sometimes it is easier to admit such things to a stranger. Once a female caller revealed that I had called at the right moment, "saving" her life. Today, I cannot recall the details of what she told me, but it is clear that sometimes just having another voice or listening ear on the other end of the phone line is what someone needs to keep going — even if the other is a stranger. I once came across a project conducted by an American teen photographer, Shea Glover. Her process involved filming what she thought was "beautiful" in strangers chosen at random. In video screencshots of her subjects before and after being told by her that she found them beautiful, there is a stark difference in the face of each person.
Pre compliment, the face of the person is generally bland, sullen, sad, empty. After being told of their "beauty", the face of the person lights up, their eyes sparkle, they clearly come alive. Google the project to see what I mean.
This "lighting up" generally happens when one pays or receives genuine compliments. The process reminds me of that saying: “Everyone is a candle, but not all candles are lit.”
Sometimes whe
